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Put your troubled concerns over the future at ease here at Guru Monkey. Are you unsure about life decisions? Are you wary of the brutal consequences that could result from your choices? Do you constantly do nothing for fear you will do the wrong thing? Fret no more! Here at Guru Monkey, our gifted staff of psychic astrologers are dedicated to bringing you as close as possible to taking the guesswork out of life. Simply visit us every week and gather your instructions, carefully translated from the stars by Madame Eva and Sir Alex (evamonkeyalex@gmail.com).
You can rest easy knowing that your life is pre-lived for you! We simply read the future and let you know what life holds so you can make the easiest choices ever. Never again will you have to wonder whether or not you should get that bikini wax or stick with the razor, never again will you have to question fruitlessly the benefits of eating a cheesecake made entirely of soy. Leave the hard part to us. You're welcome.
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